The calm before the storm

It’s Tuesday morning and I’m sat in the garden with a cup of tea. I always start my day with tea. I didn’t sleep well, I rarely sleep well but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m tired. I’m also super grateful for this tiny little space. It’s a mess right now and needs a good sweep but the sun in shining and Margot is sat by my side. She’s a typical cat. She’s not a fan of affection unless it’s on her terms. I’m ok with that most of the time but sometimes I just want to squish her because she’s just so bloody cute.

I’m off on a Tuesday because we’re currently opening the Bakery Wednesday to Saturday. Times are still strange, things are not quite back to normal and I don’t want them to be. I feel like these few months have been the first time I’ve been understood. Let me explain. I’m an advocate for slow living. If you follow me on Instagram you will almost definitely have heard me bang on about it before. I’ve never wanted my life to only be about working. I’ve never wanted to work full time and it’s always been scary to admit that because before this “new normal” it wasn’t accepted. And with some folk it still isn’t. People are taken aback when they ask why you only work part time hours and you reply “because I want to”.

Real luxury is not working like a maniac to take an expensive vacation—it is living a life you enjoy every day.

Kathy Gottberg

I say that now but I didn’t used to. I used to come up with 100 excuses. Now I don’t feel the need for excuses but I do have reasons. There are many other things I enjoy doing apart from working, even in my beautiful little bakery. I could fill my days with them. Yoga, drawing, embroidery, cooking, baking for me, resting, reading, spending time with family and friends, spending time in nature, travelling, learning, crafting, gardening…I could go on but I think you see where I’m going. This doesn’t mean I don’t love and appreciate my job, it just means I love and appreciate other things too.

We may feel productive when we’re constantly switching between things, constantly doing something, but in all honesty, we’re not. We’re just distracted.

Leo Babauta

I don’t want my life to flash before my eyes and all I’ll have done is worked. I want to have lived it. Loved it. Revelled in it. Dived right into the glorious mixture of joy, pain, laughter, love, tears, anxiety. Don’t get me wrong my work is definitely included in this, it’s a huge part of life and allows me to express myself creatively, meet wonderful people and afford a roof over my head. But it’s not the be all and end all for me. Before, people would think I must be lazy, spoiled even “Who does she think she is not working full time (or more) like the rest of us?”. But I think if they looked deeper as to why they resent me living my life my own way, they’d realise it’s maybe because they haven’t even realised it is a choice.

I must add that I’m fully aware that it’s a privilege to not have to work all hours and there have been times when I wouldn’t have had that privilege (I was a single, skint, teenage Mum) but that’s a whole different post and not what I’m taking about here. I’m talking about people who could afford to work less if they took a second to realise that they can, if they want to, but it’s been driven into us that if we don’t have children or another responsibility we should be working, grafting, hustling.

Obviously, as I don’t have staff right now, less hours means less money, again, my choice. I’m happy to live a simpler life with more time. I don’t buy what I can’t afford. I’d rather go without everything I might want in exchange for the time I have gained. Of course this doesn’t happen all of the time. There are times I need to work full time and beyond to make my business successful and I don’t begrudge that, I know I’m extremely lucky to be in a position to have my own business but it actually didn’t come down to luck, it took hard work and I put the hours in and I’ll happily do it again with the aim of then pulling it back a little and having the balance I need to be happy once more. Because that’s the key for me. Balance.

Slow living is a curious mix of being prepared and being prepared to let go. Caring more and caring less. Saying yes and saying no. Being present and walking away. Doing the important things and forgetting those that aren’t.

Brooke McAlary, SLOW

So if you are feeling frazzled, you’re not enjoying your lifestyle and are longing for more time, have a little think. Could you rearrange your days? Could you work half a day less? Could you finish early? Can you save money elsewhere to allow you to do this? You might not be able to do it forever, you might not want to do it forever, but if you need it right now can you find a way? I hope you can.

I’m enjoying these days while I can because I know in a couple of weeks I’ll be back full time but I live in hope that people will remember that it doesn’t always have to be fast and full on. You can take time for you. And that’s not selfish, lazy, entitled, it’s necessary and wonderful and human. So whatever you’re doing today, working, taking care of little ones, home making, see if you can take 5 minutes for yourself. Have a cup of tea, enjoy the sun on your face, take a deep, full breath and be grateful for this moment, right now.